Why did the chicken cross the road?
VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right
now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will
fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I
say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The
government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they
can get across the road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her
God in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual
journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the
road in his or her own way.
SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if
they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't
need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in
crossing the road myself.
RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil
tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays
tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures
chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them.
Down with the roads, up with chickens.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
"chicken" Could you define "chicken" please?
GEORGE BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other
side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side". That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's
as plain and simple as that.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
without having their motives called into question.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken
crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep
him down.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an
inextricable part of eChicken.
FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes!
The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not
been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough for us.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
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